The Jewish tradition of leaving a pebble or stone on top of a tombstone signifies that someone has honored the deceased person’s memory with a visit to the grave. A nice example of this is shown at the end of the movie Schindler’s List.
Photo: from Fairmount Cemetery, Denver, Colorado
For more information on this tradition see: Why do we place pebbles on grave stones? by Rabbi Tom Louchheim
September 26, 2006 at 6:48 pm |
i just stumbled upon your site and think it’s really nice! i’ve added it to the links section of my own.
September 29, 2006 at 10:45 pm |
I would like to quote this as a source in a future publication, but I would like to quote Joe by his /her full name. See my Burial Terminology: A Guide for Researchers (pp. 117, 143) for some other views I found in the literature and from informants on the pebble question. Excellent photogoraph. Rick
October 11, 2006 at 6:57 pm |
I once asked a friend of mine who is better educated than I am about this. He told me that it commemorates the gathering of family and friends to mourn the deceased. In ancient times when a person was buried out in the desert it was difficult to bury them deeply, and sad to say, scavengers and predators were a constant problem. So mourners usually brought stones with them when they came so that they could pile them onto the grave to discourage animals from digging up the body. The modern tradition of placing a small stone on a grave to honor the deceased seems to me to show how many people visit the grave, thus showing how much the deceased was loved in life, and also harkens back to an ancient tradition which shows respect for the mortal remains.
I have often considered placing a small stone on my mother’s grave in a Catholic cemetery. I wonder what would happen to it.
November 5, 2006 at 7:00 pm |
On many cemetery markers theirs symbols (masons, knights of Columbus, whatever) I wonder if their was or is a symbol to indicate the person buried was a genealogist? Wouldn’t be great to indicate maybe to a future family member that you did that? Lets just say they might be doing a family tree and they see that symbol and they think “hey my great uncle did a family tree I’m going to try to find it too” What do you all think?
August 12, 2008 at 7:04 pm |
For as long as I can remember, whenever I went to a cemetery one of the first things I would do was look for a stone to put on the grave at the end of the visit. I never really thought about it until now.
Another thing that I can think of that we do is approach and leave the grave site from two different directions. This way if you walk to the grave from the right, you leave to the left. I have no idea what that one means either.
September 20, 2008 at 9:22 pm |
Interesting…I always had a vague idea that this was a Jewish tradition and yet my family who is Catholic has placed pebbles on the grave markers of loved ones for some time and I’ve seen them sitting atop other markers in Catholic cemeteries, too! Maybe it’s creeping into popular custom as well. It always perks me up a bit when I visit a loved one’s grave and find more stones there than the last time I visited. I make sure to bring one pebble for each person I’m visiting.
Also the (non Jewish) cemeteries seem to have a sense of what we’re doing because I’ve never seen any of the pebbles removed.
December 17, 2008 at 11:19 am |
This is such a beautiful and meaning custom. The stones are so well though out and meaningful. I used to simply pick up a stone from the area but it means so much more to me to have one that is designated just for my loved one. Thank you for making these and adding to the tradition.
April 20, 2009 at 1:49 pm |
I always wondered why there was a stone or two on my family’s tombstone…and thought it was a sign that my uncle had been there since I often saw stones on his grand daughter’s tombstone, as well. Thanks to this website I now know the historical significance and also found on another website that Rachel’s sons left stones to build her tomb. I love that it has become a part of ecumenical customs. I will now use this tradition to honor my deceased loved ones.
May 16, 2009 at 8:49 am |
I was in Israel about a decade ago and near a cemetary and noticed pebbles on top of gravesites. All that I knew about it then was that it is a Jewish Tradition and really liked it.
On 4/28/09 my Precious wife of 42yrs went to her heavenly reward and am telling my family and friends about these pebbles so they might do it.
I’ve done a little research and find this custom to be most interesting and comforting in my loss.